Ok, I Think I Get It...

Like most carbon based life forms I find myself in need of energy at three key points throughout the day with smaller non-essential wants in between.   To combat this need the family unit must visit a gargantuan palace of sustenance.  To summarise, I need to eat and I don’t need to but do snack, so I shop in a supermarket to buy food to eat.  To summarise the summary, humans eat food.  The build up to this expedition is not exciting, only the actual putting the fork into your mouth is the exciting part, everything else is preparation or evacuation.   For this article, I will be focusing on the preparation, no one wants to know about the evacuation (except for maybe Gastroenterologists) Preparation for the weekly shop originates when our last planned meal from the previous week expires and there are no basic elements of a complete meal available.  So we must consort the culinary literature.  Our library is a compilation of stained bo...

Owning a home comes with a great sense of pride and the journey to buying a home is a journey filled with dreams of grandeur.   At the beginning the bar is set ludicrously high.  The search criteria is not your own, but of a better version of yourself, the more successful version that doesn’t drink.  The budget is doubled and the search filters are checked; off street parking for the fleet, a walled, south facing Victorian garden, 5 double bedrooms, a character property with period features in a good location next to that outstanding school with great transport links.  “I don’t need a library, but an annex with development potential is a must!” Within 30 minutes the search filter boxes get un-ticked, that £100k doesn’t stretch quite as far as you thought and compromises are made.  Before you sat, salivating over the homes of the 1%, drool cascading from your open mouth “look at the AGA”.  Now you gaze at ex council houses 2 miles away from the go...

As a father (of a child, I am not ordained to my knowledge) I find myself watching children's television on occasion.  Most of you are aware of the concept, but for those who never had a childhood the basic rules of children's entertainment are as follows. So that you better connect with this post I have created a children's character named Poplop so I do not have to say 'the character' or 'the protagonist' over and over again... I prefer Poplop. Rule 1.   Language : Keep Poplop's language to a minimum and keep the swears on the down low.  I primarily refer to Poplop's general discussions with the supporting characters,  Ensure its babbled, garbled nonsense speak.  The narrator can be a poet laureate though... without this, the general narrative is lost. Rule B. Consistency :  Accept that there is none, Poplop may have only just got out of bed, and within 10 minutes he may be preparing to return to bed.  Rest assured any upsetting medical c...